Healing Isn’t Linear: 5 Things I Wish I Knew Sooner

Let’s talk about healing. It’s one of those things we often think will be neat, tidy, and straightforward. You start, you heal, and then—bam! You’re healed. Right? Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work like that.

In fact, healing is one of the messiest, most unpredictable journeys you’ll ever embark on. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been frustrated, disappointed, or even heartbroken by how slowly things seem to move. But let me let you in on a little secret: healing isn’t linear. It’s more like a zigzagging road trip with unexpected detours and scenic views along the way.

So, here are five things I really, truly wish I knew sooner. These are the lessons that would’ve made the whole process way less overwhelming—and hopefully, they’ll help you navigate your own healing journey with a bit more grace.

1. Setbacks Are Part of the Deal

When I first started trying to heal, I thought I’d reach a point where I’d just be better. No hiccups, no bumps. But I quickly learned that setbacks are part of the process. One minute you’re feeling good, the next, it feels like you’re stuck in the same place. That’s normal. In fact, it’s often a sign that you’re doing something right. Healing is messy, and progress isn’t always visible.

Tip: The next time you feel like you’re backtracking, give yourself permission to feel it. Setbacks don’t mean you’re failing—they mean you’re moving. Slowly, maybe, but you’re still moving.

2. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Here’s the thing: I thought that healing meant I’d eventually have all the answers. I’d be enlightened. I’d be… perfect. (Insert laugh here.) Spoiler alert: Not a thing. Healing is messy, and it doesn’t follow any set path. You don’t need to have it all figured out. In fact, trying to have everything mapped out just adds more pressure to an already intense journey. You’re not supposed to have all the answers. You’re supposed to live the questions.

Tip: Take it day by day. Set small intentions, not giant goals. Today, try journaling your thoughts for 10 minutes. Tomorrow, maybe you just breathe deeply for a few minutes. It’s all progress.

3. Patience Is Your Best Friend (Even When You’re Sick of It)

You know what they don’t tell you about healing? It takes way longer than you want it to. Seriously. Whether you’re healing from heartbreak, trauma, or just life, you’re going to feel like you’re stuck in the waiting room forever. The truth? Healing takes time. It’s all about baby steps, little victories, and allowing things to unfold when they’re ready.

Tip: Instead of focusing on the end goal, celebrate the smallest wins. Maybe you cried it out but didn’t spiral. Maybe you were gentle with yourself instead of being harsh. Progress can be tiny, but it still counts.

4. You’re Allowed to Have Bad Days

Healing isn’t about feeling better all the time. In fact, some days you might feel worse—and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re back to square one. Some days you’ll feel tired, irritable, or just plain overwhelmed. And that’s normal. You don’t have to be happy every single day to be healing. It’s okay to sit with discomfort and not try to fix it right away.

Tip: Allow yourself to feel the tough stuff. On days when everything feels heavy, give yourself permission to be a little sad, a little angry, or a little tired. Healing isn’t about being “better”—it’s about embracing the full range of your emotions.

5. Self-Care Isn’t Just Bubble Baths

I used to think self-care was all about face masks and indulgent baths. And hey, that’s part of it. But real self-care is so much deeper. It’s about setting boundaries, learning to say no, and prioritizing your mental and emotional health. It’s the quiet, everyday acts of kindness that you show yourself when things are tough. If there’s one thing I wish I knew earlier, it’s this: self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s essential.

Tip: Start making self-care a daily priority. It can be as simple as drinking enough water, getting some fresh air, or cutting out negative people. Small changes create big impact.

Healing Is About Progress, Not Perfection

So, here’s the real takeaway: healing is never going to be perfect. It’s going to have its ups and downs, twists and turns, and moments where you question if you’re making any progress at all. But I promise you, you are. Progress is stillprogress—even if it’s not visible right away. Healing is messy, but it’s also incredibly beautiful.

So take a deep breath, cut yourself some slack, and remember that healing is a journey—one you’re allowed to take at your own pace. You’ve got this. And most importantly? You’re not alone.

Healing with you, Ria.

What’s something you wish you knew about healing earlier? Drop a comment and let’s talk about it. Also, if this post spoke to you, make sure to subscribe to Sips and Scars for more heartfelt stories and healing insights.